WHY “GET OFF’ THE ROLLER COASTER RIDE

Trauma as a rollercoaster BettinaSparkles.com

Has your life been like a chaotic roller coaster ride way too long?

            I, too, suffered many ups and downs from a very young age into adulthood. All of us deserve smoother sailing in life. I was finally able to get off my wild ride. 

I am eager to share how I stopped the roller coaster.

Please note 2 important facts:

1st Abused children carry the burden of trauma usually without ever healing it.

2nd The weight of unhappiness increases constantly because many new traumas are laid upon the original trauma.

            A divorce was one of my added traumas piled on top of all the earlier ones. This event made me feel worse than ever. I married at age 26 & divorced at 28. The man I had married was a good man but I was the unhappy one and never looked for solutions. 

Instead I chose to run.

            Even though “I” chose the separation, I felt horrible immediately afterwards and for the next 15 years. I felt like “a total “failure” -helpless, hopeless and all alone with many inner struggles. At the time I didn’t know that my destructive behavior was caused by the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress –PTSD-which infested my mind.  Instead, I wrongly blamed My Higher Power or God for the mess I was in.

            You can probably relate to the following actions.  I tried to fill the emptiness by looking for Love in all the wrong places. I focused on physical good looks. I searched for a “prince charming” who I believed would solve my problems.  I also drank more alcohol.  It gave me temporary relief but caused me to make more foolish choices. “Failing relationships” is a major PTSD symptom.

How was I able to finally stop the roller coaster of insanity?

            Some people must have noticed that I was “smiling on the outside but crying on the inside” and, showing a lot of insecurity.  One day my friend, Linda, reached out to help me.  She knew I didn’t have any relationship with God. She shared that years back she had also gone through rough times, just like me, but with the Grace of God she found new happiness. 

            Here’s Linda’s solution. A friend gave her the Unity Daily Word, a devotional booklet.  Now, she was risking doing the same for me. She said for me to simply read one little page per day.  I did as she suggested.  Dear Readers, I was praying again and soon felt comforted.   

            Slowly, my ideas about an unfriendly God changed. After a year, I began to believe that the Nature of God is only Love, which does not punish.  Also, praying opened the door for me to be diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD – and, gave me the strength to choose recovery.

As my PTSD healing progressed, I was led unto a beautiful spiritual path.

            As a closer relationship with God evolved I became happier and happier.  All my spiritual practices and reading materials gave me more inner peace than I had ever experienced before and still does to the day I am writing this. 

The “Helping Hand of God” working through Linda saved my life. 

I hope my example shows you how easy it is to get off a chaotic roller coaster ride.

Blessings.

 

PTSD TRIGGERS: 3 BEST STEPS TO COPE

#1    First, we must totally understand “triggers.”

WHAT ARE PTSD TRIGGERS?

   Those of us who have been diagnosed with PTSD have had an “original” trauma and experience natural human responses of shock, helplessness, panic, screams, tears and more.

 As we move on with life we could have “new” traumas.

   These usually “trigger” the same emotions we experienced for the first one, and are not necessarily related what is happening in the “now.”

#2     This takes us to the second step. We question:

WHY DO I REACT SO FEARFULLY ALL OVER AGAIN?

   My PTSD experience may help explain. I had Child Abuse Recall at 50. When horrific traumatic memories surfaced, I experienced “original reactions in real time” because I never was allowed to express my emotions and I never had a chance to heal my old wounds.

   You see, I had been threatened to keep “it” all a secret and was told no one would help, not even God.  The threat was abandonment which is death to a little girl. All my fears were stuffed deep inside of me, forgotten and festering causing me to be very unhappy most of my life.

   Now other victims “choose” not clear up the deep wounds of trauma.  They dread to face the past and hate to talk about “dirty death secrets” because they wonder, “What will people think?”  Sufferers also may not know where to turn and how to start the process of healing.

#3     The third step is the most important one. If we don’t heal the “original” trauma as soon as we can, we will experience “PTSD Triggers” more severely. If we heal the first trauma and we experience new crises, then we can handle them more easily by using the tools we used the first time around.

   We me must feel our feelings of the new chaos. Processing the trauma is not only expedited but we also don’t get stuck in the PTSD symptoms for years, as we did before. It took me years and years of living in fear and unhappiness after my “original” childhood trauma, and now I get over the new crises in three weeks to three months. Isn’t it worth a little effort to cope better with “PTSD Triggers?”

Here’s my PTSD mantra: “Set Your PTSD Free and Live in Harmony.”

To learn more check out my book “Set Your PTSD Free” click the link below.

SET YOUR PTSD FREE: 7 Effective Ways to Heal Trauma

TOP SECRET ABOUT CHILDHOOD PTSD

Are you experiencing too many PTSD Triggers? Do you still get “startled” or “react with rage or suffer other symptoms?

I have shocking news for you. You haven’t fully released all your childhood demons or core PTSD issues.

The least known fact about PTSD is that it may have started in the womb. I experienced my first trauma in the womb because I survived an abortion attempt. Babies learn mistreatment quickly by taking snapshots of facial expressions. These are wordless clues interpreted by the newborn as loving or not. For example, the frowns at diaper changing meant, “I must be bad, it’s my fault, I am in the way and I must please.”

Too many negatives or abuse in childhood form a gloomy outlook on life.  Since as children we have no options, we bury unfelt emotions of shame and unloved feelings in the bottom of our hearts where they stay. The early deep wounds block us from experiencing love and cause our self-destructive behavior as we become adults. New traumas are piled upon us. The inner wounds fester, keeping us from living a healthy, normal life.  For us to find our “real” joyful self, we must revisit our childhood just one more time and go deep to thoroughly clean out past hurts for good.

Here’s part of my story.  I lived in fear with high anxiety, hyper-vigilance and chronic depression. Then I had sudden Child Abuse Recall and was lucky to find a wise psychologist. He diagnosed my Child Abuse PTSD and immediately asked me what I remembered about my first 7 years of my life.  “I don’t remember anything.”  The counselor said “I’ll help you dig.”

The therapist suggested I have pretend conversations between my abandoned little girl and my adult, a new loving caretaker. The following is an example of how easy it is to have inner conversations. The counselor would have me take deep breaths to relax.

I, as the new compassionate caretaker, began. “Hi, little Bettina are you there. I am here to help you. I am so very sorry I’ve neglected you for such a long time.”

            I, as the Inner Child, spoke up with surprise and in manner of a child. “Hello. I never thought anyone would come.  I’ve been so alone, lonely and scared.”

            I, as the caretaker, spoke softly, “I am here for you now to pay attention to you.  It’s difficult for me to believe that terrible things happened to you so long ago and you thought you were all alone.”

            I responded as I felt my child quiver, “No one came to help.  When you were anxious you had no time for me.”

            I, the new caretaker felt her pain. “You don’t have to be afraid anymore. I will take care of you and listen to you.”

            Again, I felt my little girl, who seemed so relieved. “When you calm down, I can calm down. You have come to understand and love me?”

For both of us I was encouraged and felt hope, “Yes, You are very important to me.

We can help each other. I love you.”

            Tears of joy were rolling down my cheeks. This process of having verbal or written conversations for my child and me healed my ancient deep wounds.

Are you ready to clear up your childhood PTSD and live in harmony?

“WANNA BE” POD CASTER INTRO…

Hi, again friends…and welcome to a few more glimpses at my life.

Some of you already know I had a 38-yr. flying career which was a perfect gift from God because I loved people and loved to travel… and still do. The long career was the “stability” in my life. I was a Flight Attendant but, back in 1965 when I started, we were called Stewardesses, sometimes “Stews.” The main job requirements were: single ladies, ages 21-27, no glasses, a certain weight and height, 4 yrs. of college or two years of public contact work.  I qualified, was hired and I was very excited about my future.  I worked for a small airline; all employees knew each other well. We were like family.

Airports and Airlines were so different then.  During that era, the public, referred to us as the “Coffee, tea, or me?” group.  Checking in did not involve going through any security, imagine that? Also, there were no passenger bridges or jet ways and people could smoke on the entire aircraft. Many books were written about those fun-flying days.

Although flying was the bright side of my life, there was an ominous dark side. As much as I enjoyed my work and functioned OK, I was wearing a mask.  You see, I was smiling on the outside but crying on the inside, and I didn’t know why I was so unhappy and felt so alone. I also wasn’t aware that I had unusual anxiety, anger spells or depression. My firm belief was, “That’s just how life is.”  I had no hope things could ever change for me. But, God had different plans for me.

I finally got an answer to why I was sooo unhappy at age 50, when I was diagnosed with Child Abuse PTSD-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I was in shock, and I felt like it was all happening right then. To make my long story short, I went to a therapist who advised that I had to face the pain of my childhood, in order to release it and feel better.  The other choice was continuing life down an unhappy, destructive path.  I didn’t have anything to lose and I was “willing” to go for it!

After a couple of years healing work I realized how my attitude had changed and how much better I was feeling.  It hit me big time that I desired to pass on the good news and help other sufferers. I began to talk and write about my experiences and proclaim: NO ONE HAS TO ACCEPT A SUFFERING LIFE…pain happens but continual suffering is a choice.

I just love to talk about my transformation. The old Bettina lived mostly in fear, didn’t trust others, and lived feeling alone & unhappy in her heart. The new happier Bettina “Sparkles” has found peace and lives a spiritual life. I’d like you to envision me as a dear relative or friend who you can trust, tell your problem, reach out to for help, and know you’ll receive support, understanding and love.

OVERCOME THE STIGMA of -PTSD- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Hi friends.

Let’s get over “what other people think about us” as we cope with life and search for happiness.  Victims of trauma must put “Stigma” on the backburner to heal.  It’s important for us to acknowledge our struggles, process them, so we can move on and live in peace.

Not so long ago actions and reactions were cause for us to be labeled “crazies” and material for mental institutions.  Even during my career I worried that if the company found out much about my mental turbulence, I would get fired.   But, there’s been a big shift!

Thankfully, The Mental Health Community has acknowledged PTSD, as a mental disorder which requires urgent care.  Professionals agree that if feelings of traumas are not expressed and let go within a year, PTSD may develop.

People who experience any kind of TRAUMA- such as bullying, accidents, shootings, natural disasters, death, severe physical illnesses, divorces, rape, abortions, and loss of houses, child abuse, terrorism or war-MUST DEAL WITH THE EVENT IMMEDIATELY- NO MATTER WHAT THE CAUSE.

Right afterwards, we must acknowledge that something horrific happened to us and that our reactions are normal. We may be in shock, scream, and cry IT’S ALL OK.  It’s important to talk to friends or professional and express our feelings.

Please know that if we don’t release hurtful feelings within 1 year, PTSD develops.  We start to have a very negative outlook about ourselves, our life and the world, in general.  This is no way to live.

Why let “Stigma” go?  It is to save our lives.  When we find our struggles are so unbearable we must find help. Here’s a glimpse of my life, of how I suffered and what finally worked for me.

On the outside, I wore a “Smiley Mask” and seemed to function OK in life and my beloved flight attendant career. On the inside I suffered from “unaware” Child Abuse PTSD until age 50.  All my life I felt inner chaos, fear of people, unworthy, unwanted and unloved, all alone, helpless and hopeless. I began “Looking for Love in all the wrong places,” outside of me and medicated the pain with alcohol.

During that dark time I got divorced and felt like a total failure.  I placed blame on everyone but me.  I even blamed God and put “the punishing God” on the backburner for 20 years.  The action made life even more miserable.

I’ll never forget how my dear friend, Linda, came to the rescue and caused me to have a “wake-up call” when I was 45.  She knew I didn’t have a relationship with God.  Hesitantly, she told me that she was once in the same place as I was.  She said, “A friend gave me a Daily Prayer booklet which changed my life, and now I’d like to do the same for you.”

Linda stuck a daily devotional pamphlet into my purse.  She suggested I read one page a day. I did.  Every day I was infused with hope and love.  I did this for 5 years and made many life-style changes.

Most importantly my mind was opened to an all-loving God.  When I had Child Abuse Recall God helped me seek a therapist and face the pain of my childhood.  PTSD Recovery deepened my spiritual journey for the last 30 years.

Set Your PTSD Free and live in Harmony!

DEDICATED TO MY PTSD HERO

This Blog is to honor my PTSD HERO:  Michele Rosenthal  Award-Nominated Author, Speaker, Post-Trauma CoachFounder,  www.HealMyPTSD.com;  Radio Host, CHANGING DIRECTION;  Author,  BEFORE THE WORLD INTRUDED: Conquering the Past and Creating the Future

Hi dear Readers. I am Bettina “Sparkles” and I desire that my writings can play a small part in the prevention of Child Abuse as well as help others to turn their lives around SOONER than I did.  Fifty years I was NOT “aware” of living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder-PTSD.  Many false ideas and beliefs (FIBS) caused me to carry burdens of anger, depression, resentment, insecurity, failed relationships and many other fears.  I was unhappy and thought “that’s the way life is.” 

Not true!  We’re all empowered to heal mental, emotional, and spiritual struggles, right here and right now. I turned my life around and you can, too!

I open my heart to you in my first book, FLYING WITH GOD, Putting on a Happy Face. The memoir reveals two trauma whammies, first, growing up in Germany during WWII, and second, being abused by a family member.  All unexpressed hurtful feelings were forgotten and buried deep inside the bunker of my mind.

Yet, wearing a happy facade, I was able to function in life, explore America, my new home, and serve with pride in my “stewardess” profession of 38 years.  No one knew that all the time I  was smiling on the outside, I was actually miserable and crying on the inside.

FLYING WITH GOD is an easy read, revealing airline scoop about “the early days of flying.” It’s a personal as well as historical perspective which can be enjoyed by old and new flyers, people of all ages, and even potential flight attendants.  Vintage photos are included.

I was also guided to write another book, SET YOUR PTSD FREE, 7 Effective Ways to Heal Trauma. The mini self-help book starts with a short narrative of my Child Abuse Recall which led to diagnosis of PTSD and moves on with the sequence of recovery processes  and tools which worked for me.   

As I learned to heal conflicting, self-defeating thoughts in my mind, I grew in spiritual understanding.  The healing gave me a sense of “who” I am and “why” I am here, and has given me inner peace and appreciation for life. I am more content now than I have ever been before and wouldn’t change any of the ups and downs of my entire life.

In SET YOUR PTSD FREE, you’ll note my drastic transformation, which I’d like to pass on with my articles, blogs, books and mentoring.  I’m most grateful that I recovered from my old wounds, and that I can write about my pain of the past “without hurting anymore.”  

 SET YOUR PTSD FREE AND LIVE IN HARMONY.

http:setyourptsdfree.com

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