Has your life been like a chaotic roller coaster ride way too long?
I, too, suffered many ups and downs from a very young age into adulthood. All of us deserve smoother sailing in life. I was finally able to get off my wild ride.
I am eager to share how I stopped the roller coaster.
Please note 2 important facts:
1st Abused children carry the burden of trauma usually without ever healing it.
2nd The weight of unhappiness increases constantly because many new traumas are laid upon the original trauma.
A divorce was one of my added traumas piled on top of all the earlier ones. This event made me feel worse than ever. I married at age 26 & divorced at 28. The man I had married was a good man but I was the unhappy one and never looked for solutions.
Instead I chose to run.
Even though “I” chose the separation, I felt horrible immediately afterwards and for the next 15 years. I felt like “a total “failure” -helpless, hopeless and all alone with many inner struggles. At the time I didn’t know that my destructive behavior was caused by the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress –PTSD-which infested my mind. Instead, I wrongly blamed My Higher Power or God for the mess I was in.
You can probably relate to the following actions. I tried to fill the emptiness by looking for Love in all the wrong places. I focused on physical good looks. I searched for a “prince charming” who I believed would solve my problems. I also drank more alcohol. It gave me temporary relief but caused me to make more foolish choices. “Failing relationships” is a major PTSD symptom.
How was I able to finally stop the roller coaster of insanity?
Some people must have noticed that I was “smiling on the outside but crying on the inside” and, showing a lot of insecurity. One day my friend, Linda, reached out to help me. She knew I didn’t have any relationship with God. She shared that years back she had also gone through rough times, just like me, but with the Grace of God she found new happiness.
Here’s Linda’s solution. A friend gave her the Unity Daily Word, a devotional booklet. Now, she was risking doing the same for me. She said for me to simply read one little page per day. I did as she suggested. Dear Readers, I was praying again and soon felt comforted.
Slowly, my ideas about an unfriendly God changed. After a year, I began to believe that the Nature of God is only Love, which does not punish. Also, praying opened the door for me to be diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD – and, gave me the strength to choose recovery.
As my PTSD healing progressed, I was led unto a beautiful spiritual path.
As a closer relationship with God evolved I became happier and happier. All my spiritual practices and reading materials gave me more inner peace than I had ever experienced before and still does to the day I am writing this.
The “Helping Hand of God” working through Linda saved my life.
I hope my example shows you how easy it is to get off a chaotic roller coaster ride.