Are you experiencing too many PTSD Triggers? Do you still get “startled” or “react with rage or suffer other symptoms?
I have shocking news for you. You haven’t fully released all your childhood demons or core PTSD issues.
The least known fact about PTSD is that it may have started in the womb. I experienced my first trauma in the womb because I survived an abortion attempt. Babies learn mistreatment quickly by taking snapshots of facial expressions. These are wordless clues interpreted by the newborn as loving or not. For example, the frowns at diaper changing meant, “I must be bad, it’s my fault, I am in the way and I must please.”
Too many negatives or abuse in childhood form a gloomy outlook on life. Since as children we have no options, we bury unfelt emotions of shame and unloved feelings in the bottom of our hearts where they stay. The early deep wounds block us from experiencing love and cause our self-destructive behavior as we become adults. New traumas are piled upon us. The inner wounds fester, keeping us from living a healthy, normal life. For us to find our “real” joyful self, we must revisit our childhood just one more time and go deep to thoroughly clean out past hurts for good.
Here’s part of my story. I lived in fear with high anxiety, hyper-vigilance and chronic depression. Then I had sudden Child Abuse Recall and was lucky to find a wise psychologist. He diagnosed my Child Abuse PTSD and immediately asked me what I remembered about my first 7 years of my life. “I don’t remember anything.” The counselor said “I’ll help you dig.”
The therapist suggested I have pretend conversations between my abandoned little girl and my adult, a new loving caretaker. The following is an example of how easy it is to have inner conversations. The counselor would have me take deep breaths to relax.
I, as the new compassionate caretaker, began. “Hi, little Bettina are you there. I am here to help you. I am so very sorry I’ve neglected you for such a long time.”
I, as the Inner Child, spoke up with surprise and in manner of a child. “Hello. I never thought anyone would come. I’ve been so alone, lonely and scared.”
I, as the caretaker, spoke softly, “I am here for you now to pay attention to you. It’s difficult for me to believe that terrible things happened to you so long ago and you thought you were all alone.”
I responded as I felt my child quiver, “No one came to help. When you were anxious you had no time for me.”
I, the new caretaker felt her pain. “You don’t have to be afraid anymore. I will take care of you and listen to you.”
Again, I felt my little girl, who seemed so relieved. “When you calm down, I can calm down. You have come to understand and love me?”
For both of us I was encouraged and felt hope, “Yes, You are very important to me.
We can help each other. I love you.”
Tears of joy were rolling down my cheeks. This process of having verbal or written conversations for my child and me healed my ancient deep wounds.
Are you ready to clear up your childhood PTSD and live in harmony?
